The simplest answer is to act.

The title is the fortune from my cookie.  Nice huh? But it totally fits the idea of the past couple of days.

I have come to this realization during the events that shaped my weekend.  Friday night I had the opportunity to spend alot of quality time with Karen and Alan. Truly... two of my favorite people in the whole world. I enjoyed watching them interact with each other and I will, for the sake of privacy leave that as it is. HOWEVER, I will go as far as to say that it was TOTALLY appropriate, clothed and innocent interaction and thus anyone who thinks otherwise should really bite me!

Saturday I was sick and had no one to take care of me. No one.  I don't actually think I am fully recovered since I am still shaky, tingly and this headache will not go away.  Although I have accomplished drinking at least 64oz of fluids today, I am still dehydrated.

I really expected that at some point I would get to see my friend on Saturday for at least a couple of hours. Not only did I not, but I didn't even hear from him at all proving the point that he not only doesn't care about seeing me anymore (which I totally predicted) but doesn't even care about my feelings at all... thus the reason:  he told me that he would call towards the end of the week... and NEVER did... even though I was fully aware of the fact that he was with in a short 20 min drive of my location.  His choice.  Apparently I'm not that important.  Nice.  Really nice.  Douche!

On Sunday... hehe... during church I totally noticed "Dr. Morgan" looking in my direction during service. Not only looking but making eye contact with me for quite some length of time. This startled me a tad but I must admit gave me another outlook for my pessimistic options of the future.  Immediatly following church I darted off to spend the afternoon with my good friend, Jessica.  When I told her about the "eyeing" I recieved during service and after I pulled up some pictures of him on Facebook, Jessica INSISTED that I make my interest known. And so I did. And so he answered. And so we had a very nice chat that lasted for quite some hours. 

Recapping my thoughts on this weekend...  I attribute seeing an innocent connection between two people who trust each other added to not feeling loved at all by those that I want to feel love from as the inspiration for some much needed soul searching. What I found is that I allow mystism to cloud my judgement and common sense. There is no way to make people feel anything that they do not want to feel. The only thing we can do is change the way we feel or react to the way they treat us. HOWEVER, the way another person treats you should not be the determining factor on how you feel about yourself.  You should have an internal self worth and value that no other person can ever take from you. Know that you are special. You are worth everything to someone even if that someone is yourself.  Also, take that step... sometimes it's just enough to spark something that could possibly turn into a special friendship or bond that you may have never had any opportunity to experience otherwise.  Don't hold back.

In the words of Mr. Edward Magorium:  Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

Brilliant man, just brilliant...