Barbie and Hitler sittin' in a tree... K- I - S - S - I - N - G

Ever wonder what would happen had famous people in the past been married to fictional characters? seriously?  I have the weirdest thoughts sometimes. 

So how would the world have been different if Hitler married say, Barbie? It's really not that far fetched if you really think about it. She's tall, leggy, BLONDE HAIR/BLUE EYES, and is easily controlled. I'm sure his mother would have approved.
Well, first I would have to admit that they would have fought over who's clothes are better, because I really have a hard time acknowledging that Hitler's clothes weren't some fabrication of Mattel anyway. I mean, what decent man would wear that many tassles and gold buttons and cutsie little shoes that matched his hats and all the accessories?  Also, he had the ORIGINAL Ken doll haircut. Plus I kinda imagine that we would have ended up with little Hitler barbies, looking something like this: 

Now, being that Hitler was all powerful in his own mind and thought he could overtake the world, I would imagine that the object of his affections would be able to ask for ANYTHING! I mean, I just imagine this scene going down:

Barbie: (running into Hitlers' office crying with her cute little pink Jackie-O outfit with matching purse and shoes)  OOOOooooh  Adddddie (that would be her nickname for him) I'm so upset (whimper whimper)
Hitler: But my sweet, all is right in the world, what has upset you?
Barbie: I was coming home from shopping and I found this nasty bug and it scared me!
Hitler: (rubbing his little pathetic mustouche while thinking) hmmm, then I must require genetic alterations in bugs to make them a superior species that no longer scares my pookie wookie!
Barbie: awww Addddie, you're the best! (smoochies)

And so within a year or so, Hitlers scientists would come up with a way to create a new superior race of bugs and this is what we would see:

Not long after this joyous union of Barbie with Hitler, they would decide it was time to start a family.  After many attempts that would most likely just produce many daughters who they would have named, Skipper, Addie (juniorette) and Babs (but they would call her bunny), a little heir would be born.  Although he would be a slight boy and a tad bit shy he would also be known for his moderate intelligence. Sent to many private schools for the best education, Rudolph Adolph Hitler would have to be his days chick magnet. Just check out the emo-over and the eyeliner in his senior year photo:

ok. ... but one more thing.  While researching for this blog I found this. It's a list of Barbie's friends, in order.  This just proves how shallow she is, she's one of those girls that can't have more than one best friend at a time. Looks like she tried really hard in 1988 but it was just too much for her. She never again had that many friends at ONE time. I really think it was big of her though to be friends with Kayla not only in 1989 but also AGAIN in 1994:

KEN 1961-present, Barbie’s boyfriend

MIDGE 1963-66, Barbie’s friend
FRANCIE 1966-76, Barbie’s modern cousin
CASEY 1967 & 1974 Francie’s friend
CHRISTIE 1968-present, Barbie’s friend
STACEY 1968-70, Barbie’s friend
PJ 1969-1985, Barbie’s friend
JAMIE 1970-72, Barbie’s friend
STEFFI 1972, Barbie’s friend
KELLEY 1973-74, Barbie’s friend
CARA 1975-76, Barbie’s friend
DANA 1986-87 Barbie’s friend
DEE DEE 1986-87 Barbie’s friend
DIVA 1986-87 Barbie’s friend
MIKO 1986-89 Barbie’s friend
WHITNEY 1987-1989 Barbie’s friend
MIDGE 1988-present, Barbie’s friend
BECKY 1988 Barbie’s friend
BELINDA 1988 Barbie’s friend
BOPSY 1988 Barbie’s friend
TERESA 1988-present, Barbie’s friend
DEVON 1989, Barbie’s friend
JAZZIE 1989-1993, Barbie’s cousin
KAYLA 1989 & 1994, Barbie’s friend
NIKKI 1989, Barbie’s friend
KIRA 1990, Barbie’s friend
NIA 1990, Barbie’s friend
SHANI 1991-94, Barbie’s friend
TARA LYNN 1993, Barbie’s friend
BECKY 1997-present, Barbie’s friend